Why Must I Have A Boyfriend?
QUESTION:
Dear Dr. Heller,
I was wondering if you could answer my question. I am not quite sure what is wrong with me. I always have to have a boyfriend and become very clingy and dependent upon them. I feel, without them, I will not have anyone else. I always try to control them and make sure they are happy. I feel as though when someone is unhappy it is my fault and I am bad. I have problems leaving relationships and never know if I am with them because I like them, or if it’s just for convenience. I feel like I always try to obsessively meet everyone’s approval, and when I am not, I feel bad. I isolate my self because I feel like no one will understand me, and if they do they will think I am a bad person.
I cannot stop. Do you think I am OCD or borderline?
Thank you for your time.
ANSWER:
There are many possible explanations. There is no specific diagnosis for what you’re describing, although what you’ve described is consistent with the BPD. You also may have a profound rejection sensitivity. The OCD is also a possibility. I encourage you to look at the official criteria for the BPD and other diagnoses as well.
2000 November Questions
Ask the Doctor
Home 
Video DVDs now available! 
