Q. I know now that the emotional roller coaster that I have been on was due to BPD. I have given up two children on advice of this man. I know he is not totally to blame, I allowed the destruction to happen.
I feel that I have just waken from a bad dream. Now that I realize that my mind is not screwed up, he wants to patch things up. I feel that I have nothing left to give him. He needs to let me go, and yet I feel guilty and I feel his pain. Am I wrong to leave? I feel it is best for him and I. I also want him to read about BPD so I have printed some papers for him. We have been together 22 years with 3 children who he continually ignores.
I also have 3 other children who he will not allow in our home. I’ve tried for so many years and felt like it would be easier to just lay down and die. I no longer want to feel that way.
A. The question is “am I wrong to leave?”
This is a common question. I have 2 different questions to pose to you – 1) would you start this relationship all over again knowing what you now know? And 2) is he committed to recovery in every aspect of life?
Ive seen a lot of relationships patched up very successfully but considerable love has to be present, and an incredible amount of determination to do whatever is needed to succeed in a healthy manner. Without both, suffering and bitterness is the inevitable result.