Q. I’m going crazy…and right now I’m fighting very hard to hang on. In just a little while it will be over and I’ll be back in my normal state but how long it will last I don’t know…then I’ll be fighting very hard again…it’s a cycle that doesn’t quiet.
This time it’s now been 4 weeks… and I have lost 12 lbs. I can’t move from my house when I’m home. I haven’t been grocery shopping in 4 weeks because I can’t make myself go to the store. There is absolutely nothing more anxiety producing than the thoughts of having people invade my space. I don’t want to see them or hear them. I want to just stay right here and not move.
A. It appears you’re experiencing considerable misery.
Q. But I have to go to work tomorrow and I’ll be very careful of how I act and what I said and I’ll smile and everybody will like me…but I can’t stand them…they’re always talking about me when they think I don’t know. If they were not, then there would be no need for them to keep telling me what they were talking about and trying to make me believe they were not talking about me.
A. Whether they are talking about you or not is not important. You are placing far too much importance on it. What matters is being happy and successful yourself. This is a crucial lesson you must learn. I can’t determine if you are experiencing paranoia or not, but it seems likely.
Q. The other day I was trying to explain the importance of an inter-office move and the more I tried to input what I know is right, the more this other person…who has absolutely no clue as to what she is doing …kept overriding everything I was saying…I got so mad, clenched my teeth and walked off the floor. But I ended up breaking two of my teeth and now I have to go to the dentist and I can’t stand the dentist and those things he puts in my mouth.
The last time I went it was so stressful I started shaking so bad became HTN and then the next thing I remember was I was lying back in the dentist chair and some one was tying to put oxygen on me.
A. While you may have some significant neurological problems, your response to this stress is causing your health to deteriorate.
Q. I have a messed up history. I’ve been married 7 times now. But this marriage is different and he really loves me and he’s my best friend…he’s the only one I can trust. I don’t want him to worry about me right now because he’s in another country and feels bad already because he is not with me….so I can’t tell him that I’m not doing well right now.
A. The best way to keep your relationship is to be happy and peaceful yourself.
Q. I have worked very hard to keep myself like everyone else but right now I just can’t…I just can’t. I know I’m depressed and probably need to see a doctor but I can’t.
A. Why not? The way you’re going you will eventually need medical and/or therapy intervention soon.
Q. Do you think maybe I am experiencing depression or is there a chance I might be crazy and have BPD. and if I do then what happens to me?
A. I don’t know what diagnoses you may or may not have, but your story sounds very concerning. You need medication attention. Your story is consistent with the BPD, but the diagnosis cannot be made from what you wrote. Whatever you “have” – what happens to you totally depends on you. If you perceive a diagnosis makes things worse you’re in trouble. If you perceive that a correct diagnosis gives you the opportunity to get things fixed and move on to a happy and successful life, what happens to you can be wonderful.