Can You Help a Desperate Man?
QUESTION:
Dear Dr. Heller,
I am a 45 year old Caucasian male. I am in my 4th marriage. I have been a successful, and a not-so successful, entrepreneur all of my adult life, with the exception of the Army and College. I have started a river rafting, horse backing riding guide service that I grew to guide 14,000 people a summer while in college, I’ve been a very successful stock broker, and a little over a year ago I sold a software company I started for over $1 million.
My wife and I are on the verge of an extremely bitter divorce. I have 3 felony charges hanging over my head for domestic violence which will probably mean 6 months to 2 years in jail. My wife recently read about Borderline Personality and believes that might be my problem. I read your discussion on it and I am convinced it is. I have seen 4 doctors and two anger counselors in the past 2 years. I’ve been on Celexa (40mg then 20mg off and on for a period of 3 months), Lithium (1 week, it made me sick), and Xanax (3 days and I flipped out, plus it made me sick and dizzy). Nothing seems to be working.
I am a very desperate man at this point. I am scared beyond bearing it of getting worse in jail with no counseling or treatment, having my marriage fail, and losing all of my net worth. I’ve also recently had my mother die, and went thru another divorce just two years ago. I am at the end of being able to think about how to fix this. Please help with some advice. I have health insurance that can pay fees that might be involved. But time is running out for me and You are the only source on this subject that has put it terms that I can see relates exactly to me. Please email me back if you can help.
Thank you so much for your consideration.
ANSWER:
I appreciate your kind words. It seems just like the wrong combination of medications. Youre living proof how some individuals with the BPD can be extremely successful in some areas of life, but have horrible problems in ones personal life.
I would be happy and honored to see you. I firmly believe that my approach can make a profound difference for you and your home life. Please fill out the screening test I use for my patients in advance. Please also review the information about coming to see me. Please understand however, that I want you to determine who you want to be and how to get there rather than dwelling on why things are the way the are. Its the present and future that matters.
