- Does My Husband Have Asperger’s Or BPD?
QUESTION:
Dear Dr. Heller,
I am struggling to find answers for my husband’s random unexplained anger and disrespect towards me. Sometimes he seems not to hear me or even recognize that I am a human being in the room with him (typically when he is having an angry episode), and becomes almost trance-like. I have also thought autism may be part of the problem although I didn’t know it came in other forms than what we commonly see portrayed. He is preoccupied with things, anything at any given moment – packing stuff up, unpacking stuff and re-organizing it, throwing some of it away – absolutely no logic to it. It’s a lot bigger than I can describe here, and he is also a very poor communicator of issues, frustrations, problems etc. Negative thoughts seem to build up in him and all of a sudden I am blindsided by a ridiculous complaint as if I have committed some act of malice towards him.
I saw a program recently on Asperger’s Syndrome (which I’d never heard of) and started to wonder. Your site was very helpful in describing exactly what I am experiencing. However, there are other pieces to his behavior besides what I understand and recognize as probably BPD. I have tried to find information on Asperger’s on the Internet, but to no avail.
I love him very much, but it has become increasingly difficult to stay in my marriage. My family and friends think I’m crazy to stay and waste my valuable time and energy on such a nasty, unappreciative person. But of course he isn’t always that way.
Thank you for any information you can provide. Your site is a marvelous source of information!!
ANSWER:
Your description seems more consistent with BPD than with Asperger’s. Those with Asperger’s tend to be very socially withdrawn. Your description implies moodiness and inconsistency rather than persistently withdrawn. The usual BPD medications should make a huge difference. http://pks.947.myftpupload.com/AskDoc/First-Do.htm can give you suggestions.
