Q. When my mother was functioning “normally” she was moderately phobic (germs, elevators, funny smells, etc) but her phobias have decreased over the years. She has always been a high energy person and her life is quite disorganized on all levels. Her latest round of depression (it seems to happen every 12 years and run for about 2 years each time) started 4 months ago when she had a prolonged head cold and her fear of not being able to smell snowballed into sleeplessness (a week with no sleep) and then continuous panic/anxiety and then depression, and she basically stopped functioning.
I tried a version of the meds in food whereby I would give her a milk shake twice a day, and at some point the shakes would contain meds (she wouldn’t be told when). I gave up after a week when she wouldn’t drink more than a teaspoon of the shakes. Also, she spent the every moment of the entire week worrying if the next shake would have the meds (they never did because I wanted to wait until she drank more than a teaspoon).
On the positive side, each time I gave her the placebo shake she felt drug symptoms (weakness, numb tongue, muscle tremors, weird taste, dizzy, etc.) and I was able to convince her that most, if not all of the symptoms, she feels from drugs are self induced. Unfortunately, she has read enough about meds and has had bad experiences many years ago with Xanax, Haldol, and Thorazine that she is still to afraid to take her meds because of side effects (she once had complete neck and face paralysis for over a week).
I have toyed with the idea of putting the meds in her food without her permission, but as I don’t live with her, she would be getting very erratic dosages depending on what she eat. I do not think this is a good plan. So, we have given up on the meds.
Right now she feels overwhelmed because her “house is a disaster” (actually its not so bad) and her five dogs “are too much work” (she won’t give them up and I think they keep her somewhat active). I have made her write a list of tasks to do and I will try to “nag” her into doing them one by one. Do you think this is a good idea?
Her cognitive therapist wants her to complete a task a day, but she does not do them. I was hoping that a therapist would be able to do more than simply tell her once a week the same thing I tell her every day. Any advise on cognitive therapy? Should she find a better therapist?
She has been to several psychologists and psychiatrists already. I have gotten her a number of books on depression and Panic Disorder and she has read most of them but this has not helped because she does not feel they fit well with her problems (i.e. they are aimed at people who are more functional then her).
I am not sure of her exact diagnosis but it is my self educated opinion she has OCPD at the very least. She also can’t even make the simplest of decisions and spends all day deciding, undeciding, and regretting “bad” decisions.
She is very aware that her fears are phobic/abnormal. But she is also quite aware that drugs do in fact have side effects. I believe that she could deal with the side effects except that she fears that they will become permanent.
Late 60’s she was dosed with LSD without her knowledge. This really messed with her and she ended up on some very powerful antipsychotics . From there things got worse (depression, hospitalization, muscle paralysis, numbness ,and more). After a couple of years she was able to function again but she was never the same. She used to be fearless, but from then on she has been very phobic.
She firmly believes that the drugs permanently changed her brain and from that, stems her fears that drug side effects may become permanent. For example, she is afraid that local anesthetics will make her permanently numb so she has had several root canals without any anesthetic.
So, the bottom line is that she knows her fears are excessive but they are also based on a good amount of truth.
I have tried to convince her that she had the potential for OCPD from birth, and that the drugs were just the trigger event (later triggers for her were the death of a pet and a month long head cold). But, she may in fact be correct that the drugs were the cause.
Our whole family lives on the same street as her. So, we easily care for her. Generally all we need to do is bring her groceries. Although, I have considered stopping this so that she has to do it herself.
Currently her phobias do completely control her life. Time may be the only answer for her but of course we will keep trying.
A. Her fear is out of control, and somewhat psychotic (out of touch with reality). Her prognosis is not good. The fear will cause other medical problems. The question is not medication, but whether medication to treat the problem or the consequences. Bottom line, you can’t help people who don’t want to be helped. Unfortunately, your best option is to life a happy, successful life. It’s your mother’s best hope as well. If she perceives that you are genuinely happy and peaceful, she may come to you and ask what you’re doing! It’s often the only way to succeed at helping people like her.