Im 16. Whats Wrong With Me?
QUESTION:
Dear Dr. Heller,
I’m 16 and for about 3 years now I have been hitting and cutting myself when anyone gets angry at me and really need the pain to feel better. Everyone would never think of me having a problem because they think I’m funny. I am very unhappy but don’t feel I have a reason to be. I can’t even answer a question to the teacher without having my heart race. I’m worried also because I talk to myself constantly. Is this confidential? What’s wrong with me?
Thanks.
ANSWER:
It appears you have the borderline disorder – BPD. Picture an injured, cornered animal – its instincts are to lash out and trust no one. That area of the brain is broken in the BPD. I strongly recommend you spend some time on this website to learn more. You did nothing to cause it and its not your fault. You also appear to have whats called “Social Phobia.” The official BPD criteria are here. The screening test I use for my patients will be of use for other diagnoses.
In the strongest terms possible, I recommend you find out whats wrong and get treated. You can feel so much better, so quickly it will astound you. This disorder can fool you into believing its in your best interests to end your own life – so there is a sense of urgency. Everyones life has enormous worth, including yours.
