- What Is An Addictive Personality?
QUESTION:
Dear Dr. Heller,
While in marital counseling the therapist was able to do the MMPI and Rorschach on my husband. He was told that he has an addictive personality. There are no drugs or alcohol involved. In all that I have read (your website is incredible), everything I read on BPD addresses his problems (lying, cheating, etc. etc.), except there is no evidence (been together for 20 years) of mood swings, anger, or depression. In fact, just the opposite.
Would this still possibly be considered BPD? The most conclusive thing I read besides the lying, etc. is his faulty reality – when I read “…the individual becomes (psychotic) and misinterprets reality. These incorrect interpretations are often “remembered” as real and this can cause huge problems as well, particularly regarding false accusations. While borderlines can usually trust their good memories, their bad memories are suspect. Some may be true, many aren’t – and it’s very difficult to interpret which are which.”
It threw me because it was so on target. His lying, cheating, financial debt and lack of motivation for doing any more than “talking the talk” in counseling has brought me to request a divorce after about 20 wonderful years. I would appreciate any information that you could suggest. By the way his life centers on Ziglar, Tracy, etc. to the exclusion of original thoughts and acknowledging his own feelings.
Thank you.
ANSWER:
There is no official diagnosis of an “addictive personality.” There are many diagnoses commonly associated with addictions – particularly bipolar, the BPD and AD(H)D. One of the most common diagnostic combinations causing an addictive tendency are attention deficit disorder mixed with the obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCPD). The person literally feels ripped apart with ADD – where the brain is only interested in sensations and changes at the expense of details, and OCPD – where details and mistake prevention are everything. This combination is medically treatable and I discuss them at length in Biological Unhappiness. The BPD could easily be present, and I diagnose strictly on DSM criteria. Many people with the OCPD and BPD together show less severe BPD symptoms. I respect his determination to learn from Ziglar and Tracy – however both of them emphasize the importance of honesty and integrity – which according to your letter is missing. He likely needs real counseling, and needs to acknowledge his true feelings and desires.
