Borderline Personality Disorder: Sleeping with 9 year old child.

Q. Although I am not a physician, I am educated enough to recognize BPD; I have a dear friend who suffers with it. My concern is that she is in total denial, she isolates herself, and is grossly enmeshed with her 9 year old son. She allows him to sleep in her bed, with her and refuses to listen to rational reasons why this is not a good idea.

She insists that she is being a devoted mother and doesn’t “get it” that if she doesn’t socialize herself for herself that he will grow up to be just like her and I fear an Oedipus complex. I’ve searched and searched for literature on this to mail to her anonymously but haven’t had any luck. Can you help? Do I bow out and let fate take it’s course or is there a way I can help?

I’m certain that if she was presented the literature anonymously, her curiosity would get her and she would check it out. She’s a highly intelligent woman. Thank you for your help.

A. The concept of the Oedipus complex is controversial, but sleeping with an older child is clearly a problem.

Printing up sections of the website would be an excellent idea. Give them to her and let her read it. If she has the BPD she’ll want to get better.

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