QUESTION:
Dear Dr. Heller,
I have a friend that has been divorced for seven years (she is the one that wanted the divorce). She will lie to her ex-husband, break up any kind of relationship that he tries to have, and is always trying to tell him that he was never there for her and the children. When she was married she ran around on her husband while he stayed home and took care of the children. As long a she has a man, any man, in her life, she will leave her ex-husband alone. When guys find out that she has lied to them or is running around on them they dump her. Of course it is always the other person’s fault. What kind of behavior is this and is there any help for a person that lies and believe her own lies?
ANSWER:
The person can only be helped if she wants help. Her story is consistent with the BPD, but doesn’t prove the diagnosis. People with the BPD can believe their misinterpretations as very real, and “remember” things that didn’t actually happen as real. It’s one of the cruelest effects of the BPD. One of the issues to be dealt with in therapy (after the medications are working) is distinguishing which “memories” are real and which were misinterpretations brought on by psychotic thinking that can develop during dysphoria (anxiety, rage, depression and despair). There are some FAQ’s in the “ask the doctor” section which can be of help. This answer will be the: http://pks.947.myftpupload.com/AskDoc/q1.htm, The most important thing you can do is to assist your friend in getting information.