QUESTION:
Dear Dr. Heller,
My question is about my father. Ever since I can remember, my father has experienced extreme mood swings – from a calm easy going person to absolute rage. He will often reflect back on instances that happened as much as ten years in the past and enrage himself. Most of the time it is clear that he has misinterpreted the motive of the person he is raging about. This usually occurs in stressful situations. He often avoids social gatherings and does not have many friends. My father is suspicious of almost everybody. Recently my father was treated for severe headaches and consequently become addicted to vicodan, and has been now for two years. He is also taking Xanax and Remeron. These are the only medications that I know he is taking for sure, because he has shut the family out and refuses to discuss his medical affairs. Within the past year he has began chanting and making loud shrieking outbursts. Most of the time he chants “mama”. Before the headaches he only had many of the symptoms of BPD that you describe in your website (anxiety, rage, occasional depression, misinterpretation of motives etc.).
Firstly, does this sound like BPD? If so how do I approach him with it? What can I do for him? My grandfather was an alcoholic and verbally abusive. Could this have amplified his problems? Secondly, I see some of the traits you have described in myself (such as a feeling of incompetence, anxiety, a mind that never stops, and feeling like something is medically wrong). Are they due to genetics or the environment that my father created while I was growing up? If so, what should I do and how can I break the cycle?
ANSWER:
I don’t know if your dad has BPD, but his symptoms are consistent with it. He probably has other diagnoses as well. http://pks.947.myftpupload.com/AskDoc/q1.htm will help you with how to tell him. The BPD appears to be 50% genetic so the same answer would apply to you: Get your medically treatable diagnoses treated. The screening test should be of help. It’s critically important to recognize that most of these problems are biologically based, often genetic, and medically treatable. I believe strongly in mind/body/spirit – so every aspect needs to be healed.